August 21, 2014 - Life with Gremlins

Ready to Potty Train? Signs Your Child Is Ready for Potty Training

When you think your little gremlin is ready to graduate to the porcelain thrown is a celebration for all involved including your kiddo, you, and the family budget. However, hold that toilet paper, because rushing a milestone of any kind, no matter the benefits, can be disastrous and disappointing– poop painting anyone?

So, how do you determine when your child is ready to potty train?

Several cues can tip you off that your child is ready for potty training 101, but none of them involve a birthday so leave age out of the equation.

Mobility:

The first and most important aspect to determine if your child is ready to potty train is mobility. A child that can’t get to the toilet can’t potty train, period. Unless special circumstances apply to your child’s ability to walk (ex/ medical condition) don’t attempt to potty train before those tear-jerking first steps. No amount of e-books and ads that claim you can potty train from birth are going to change this.

Communication:

One of the most obvious cues that your child is ready to begin potty training beyond mobility is communication skills. Whether this is verbal or sign, once a child can actively inform you that they have gone to the bathroom, or better yet, need to go to the bathroom, you have entered the prelude to potty training. This is an excellent time to set the groundwork for the actual potty training.

Mobility and communication skills are really all that are required to begin potty training. Of course, a few other cues lend to the emotional readiness of a child to potty train as well. You can train a child who is physically ready alone, but it will take much longer and be far more difficult and frustrating for both of you.

Desire:

Your almost-big-kid will show the desire to potty train by stripping or sitting on the toilet or simply showing interest in what it is and what it is for. Some children, granted just enjoy being naked, but a child that walks, talks, and despises wearing a diaper is unquestionably ready for potty training. That hatred for the plastic-butt prison will make potty training 100 percent easier.

Ability to undress and bladder control:

On the note of that stripping, if your child can easily undress this is another hint they are ready to potty train. If your child can’t get their pants off, how are they going to use the toilet? Also, watch out for bladder control. Just because a child can walk doesn’t mean they are capable of holding their pee. Not peeing during naps or long road trips is a good sign of bladder control.

These four basic signs usually indicate your child is not only ready to ditch the diapers and potty train, but wants to. Always remember that every child develops at a different speed. Some babies learn as early as 18 months, other children don’t master the toilet until three years.

Be patient, Be proud, and be prepared with a roll for the first time you hear a tiny voice from the bathroom call, “Mommmmmm….I can’t get it all off! Will you come wipe me?” Speaking of which, you might check out our page on helping kids learn to wipe their own butts next.

Shopping with Toddlers: 10 tips to Better In-store Behavior

Shopping with toddlers, it’s never fun. They don’t want to sit still. They don’t want to be quiet. They want everything and impulsively grab for it only to chuck it moments later or holler indignantly in anger if you deny them it while annoyed onlookers offer ever-so helpful advice. Shopping with a toddler can be a downright nightmare, but it doesn’t have to be.

What can I do before shopping with toddlers to ensure better behavior?

Having a peaceful shopping trip with a toddler starts before you ever go to the store. You want to create a state of contentment in your child. How do you do that?

-Plan your shopping for a time of day that your child is generally in a quiet, active state. This may be a time you find daily that he/she may sit quietly and play with toys or watch a cartoon. Avoid times where your child is generally bouncing off the walls or tired, especially tired. Often, just after a nap or an hour or so after a meal fits this description.

-Make sure they aren’t tired or hungry. I suppose this is sort of obvious, but toddlers are cranky when they’re hungry or tired just like adults. A cranky toddler is rarely on his/her best behavior.

-Plan your shopping trip for a slow time of day. Around 5 or 6 pm, when the store is absolutely jam-packed full of people, is not the most ideal time to go shopping with toddlers. Try to line up that quiet active time with a typically less-busy time of day for the stores. This also means you’ll be standing in a much shorter line, which is when kids tend to get the most impatient.

-Come prepared to shop quickly, and plan short trips. Don’t, please don’t, plan to try and shop for two to three hours (or more) with a kid under 5. If you have a major, lengthy shopping trip that’s necessary, find a sitter or break it up into separate sessions. With toddlers, try to keep shopping trips under 45 minutes maximum. You can help cut time by coming prepared. Sit down and make a list ahead of time, so you don’t have to go up and down every aisle. This also helps ensure — in your hectic attempts to hurry to keep your child amused — that you don’t forget things and have to go back.

-Allow yourself all the time in the world. I know, you’re thinking, “What? Didn’t you just say keep trips short?” You want to want to keep the trip short, not have to keep it short because you have 30 minutes before you have to do *this*. Having a strict time limit for a shopping trip is begging the universe to make your child misbehave and make you late. If you leave yourself plenty of time, you can relax, get things done, and not have to worry about it.

What can I do while shopping with toddlers so they behave better?

-Make shopping a learning experience. From infant to school-aged, you can always make shopping educational. For babies and toddlers, just talk about what you’re doing: name items, colors, letters, etc. For older toddlers, you can have them start naming things too or helping you find items. In school-aged kids, let them do the math on discounts or discover if one item is a better deal than another. At any age engagement keeps your child from getting bored and then annoying you. In one of my particularly difficult kids, I found getting her a small notebook and a little box of crayons to color in the cart helped tremendously. The $2 or so was totally worth it, and she acquired quite the art supply stash as a result.

-Let them pick something out. While I never wanted my kids learning they got a treat every time they were good, I let them choose an item I already planned on buying. For instance, I may hold out two types of cheese and let them pick one. By allowing your toddler choices, but only choices you find acceptable, you promote independence, influence less-picky eating and dressing, and make shopping easier.

-Take advantage of the free cookies and fruit. Almost all stores have them, and if they don’t, a cookie is what, 50 cents maximum? The free cookie gets my boys excited about the store, and since I always take them after a meal, it’s just like dessert. They generally spend the first 10 minutes happily mouse-nibbling their cookies. Many stores are also now offering free fruit in the produce section.

-Reward good behavior. In older toddlers, you can even use shopping as reward. For example, you could reward good behavior with the ability to get out of the cart and walk or use one of those pain-in-the-butt-to-steer car carts. Sometimes I even let my kids dress-up to go to the store. You may even consider adding a sticker category to a star chart if you have one. At the very least, always verbally reward good behavior. If your toddler did well, say so, and say how they did well.

Example: “You did a great job today not grabbing items off the shelves. Thank you.”

This not only encourages them to continue the behavior, but it makes it clear which behavior you liked.

Do you have any tips for shopping with toddlers? We’d love to hear them!

Pregnancy and Labor Related Terms Simplified

As if pregnancy and labor aren’t confusing enough, doctors, midwives, and even other mothers seem to insist on using terminology many first-time mothers have no clue what means. Dilated? Softened? +1, 2, or 3? What does all this mean? This article will look at many pregnancy and labor-related terms and explain their meaning in common language. Most of the terms you likely won’t know what mean during your pregnancy will begin to pop up in the third trimester as your body prepares for labor or may not be mentioned until during your labor.

Dilation:

Dilation is a term you may hear towards the end of your pregnancy. This term is in regard to your cervix. Your cervix is a tube-like structure connecting your vaginal canal and your uterus where your baby is. Your baby will pass through your cervix during delivery. As labor approaches, your cervix begins to open preparing to allow your baby out. Dilation refers to how open your cervix has become. This term will be used in conjuncture with a number in cm. For instance, your doctor may say, “You are 2 cm dilated.” This means that your cervix is open 2 cm or about two fingers in width. For reference, when you are in the final stages of your labor and begin to push your cervix will be open or dilated to 10 cm.

Effacement:

Effacement is a sister term to dilation that is also in regard to your cervix. As your cervix opens, it will also thin and become shorter. Your doctor may say something like, “You are 1 cm dilated and 20 percent effaced.” This would mean your cervix is open one cm, or around one finger’s width, and has thinned 20 percent of its original size. Before your baby is delivered your cervix will efface to 100 percent making it paper-thin.

Soft/Hard Cervix:

While these may be words you have heard before, they have a different meaning when your doctor says them. This is yet another term in reference to the condition of your cervix. While your cervix dilates and thins it also becomes softer because of these changes. Your doctor saying your cervix is firm or hard would simply mean it has not begun to change. If your doctor says your cervix is soft, it means it has begun to prepare for labor.

Engaged/Lightening:

The term engagement or lightening of your baby means that he or she has dropped further into your pelvis in preparation for delivery. This usually occurs in the last few weeks of your pregnancy. You may notice you breathe easier or your belly changed shape.

Station:

(+1, -2, 0, etc.): This term is usually used in conjunction with the term engaged or lightening. Station refers to your baby’s position in your womb in reference to two bony spines on your pelvis and can vary from a +3 to a -3. A -3, -2, or -1 station means that your baby has not yet dropped into your pelvis or engaged and is 3-1 cm above the bony spurs in your pelvis depending on the corresponding number. 0 Station means that the baby is level with the bone spurs and has dropped. +3, +2, or +1 mean the baby is 3-1 cm below the bony spurs in your pelvis. Positive stations indicate a move towards the cervix and usually mean labor is imminent.

So to combine this term with other terminology it regularly is used with, you may hear something like this in the final week of your pregnancy, “You are soft 2 cm dilated, 45 percent effaced and your baby is at -1”. This means your cervix is soft or ready for labor, open 2 cms, thinned 45 percent of its original size and your baby is 1 cm above the bones in your pelvis. All of this information is an attempt to estimate when labor will occur. While being very dilated, effaced, and soft with a zero station is a pretty good indication labor is near, it’s not a guarantee.

Posterior/Anterior:

These terms refer to the way the baby is facing. This isn’t particularly important until during your labor. Posterior means that the baby is facing up with the back of its head against your spine or posterior region, rather than anterior or facing down with the back of the head against your tummy. In a normal labor, a baby faces down making it easier to pass through the birth canal. A baby that is facing posterior can be delivered but may increase the risk of c-section and will result in more back pain for you during delivery.

Breech Position:

Breech position is another term used to describe the position your baby is in. The ideal position for a baby to be in at the time of labor is called vertex position meaning the baby is head down in the uterus. Breech position or breech means that the baby is feet or butt down rather than head down. When the feet are down and one or both feet will exit the cervix first this is called a footling breech. When the butt is down, but the feet and legs are folded up by the head this is called a frank breech, and finally, if the butt and feet are down in almost a kneeling position this is called complete breech. A breech delivery of any kind does not necessarily mean a c-section will be needed, but it does increase the chance dramatically. Most healthcare providers will try to turn a baby that is in a breech position when labor approaches.

Traverse Position:

Traverse position, which may just be called traverse, means that the baby is laying sideways or shoulder/arm down towards the cervix. Sadly, traverse-positioned babies almost always result in a c-section if they can’t be turned before labor begins.

Crowning:

Finally, crowning, crowing, or crowned means your baby’s head is visible to your doctor outside of your vagina during delivery. This means the baby is almost out, and you’re almost done.

While there are certainly more terms you may hear during your pregnancy and labor these are the most common and the most misunderstood terminologies. Hopefully, this article has left you feeling more in the loop.