4 Things Stay-at-Home Moms Should Know About Working Dads

I think the biggest hurdle most couples face is perspective. More specifically the inability to see the other side’s perspective. So after writing my first blog about things working dads should know about stay-at-home moms, I choose to write the flip-side–things stay-at-home moms (or dads) should remember about the lives of their hard working husbands (or wives). While clearly I stand in the shoes of a stay-at-home mom, those same late-night arguments that spurred the penning of the first piece, have resulted in an in-his-shoes perspective provided verbally from my wonderful male co-partner in this parenting endeavor. Here are four things stay-at-home moms/dads need to remember about working dads/moms…

They aren’t there.

Not the kind of poop painting I mean

Your husband has sacrificed the joy of being there to see every waking moment of your child’s development to support your family so you can stay home, that is not likely something he wanted to do. While he may also miss the less pleasant moments like when your toddler painted a poop masterpiece the first time, that doesn’t make up for likely missing first steps, first words, or first smiles.

They work hard too.

When your mate is just gone all day it can be hard to remember how hard he really does work. Maybe when he gets home he does do some remarkably dim things, such as telling you to take out the trash when he has two perfectly good hands and you’re cooking dinner, but it’s likely because he’s been on his feet all day and he’s freakin’ tired. You should understand that just as much as he should understand you work hard. Cut him some slack now and then.

It’s the same, but different.

Your job as a stay-at-home mom is stressful, tiring and can feel like an exercise in futility. Your husband’s job is also stressful, just in entirely different ways. It’s also tiring and likely involves doing the same thing every single day. While there are some serious differences in the challenges you both face and the type of work, it’s not as different as you think in the slip of things.

 It’s not a vacation.

Like sippin’ scotch on the beach..

I know how it feels to want to go to work just to get out of the house and do something different, but try to think back to what having a 9-5 job is like. It’s not a vacation. You get out, yes, but you’re still going to work, and if you go to work enough chances are you don’t want to be there anymore. Your husband likely views you getting to stay home and “play” with the kids just as enviously as you do his freedom of “employment.”

No matter what side of this common parenting arrangement you sit on, or if you’re a stay-at-home dad and your wife is the working-mom, a little perspective and empathy honestly does go a very long way.

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