Between age 13 and 19 the percentage of teens that have engaged in sexual intercourse jumps from 13 to 70 percent. 80 percent have engaged in oral sex at the least. Being that most parents are hoping sex doesn’t happen for their little boy or girl until they are– oh, say 30, this presents a real problem. There are a lot of techniques parents have used over the ages to attempt to prevent teen sex and –well– obviously most of them have failed miserably. As a parent, you could try keeping tight tabs or fear tactics, but there is a better way.
Taking the taboo out of sex:
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The thing is teens want to do whatever they aren’t supposed to do, which is usually things they haven’t already done making them all the more appealing. Once they’ve done it, and gotten a top-notch reaction or even gotten away with it, it’s frankly, irresistible. The first step in stopping teen sex is taking away the taboo. How do you do that?
Sexual education:
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First, you want to declassify and de-glorify sex. Many teens have this Hollywood created vision of what intercourse is like. When you shove the possible realities in their face, the whole process becomes a touch less cool. Not to mention if your teen is well versed in STDS, pregnancy, rape, and other sexual dangers, when they do have sex– and they will– they won’t be naive and ignorant about it.
Plan your reaction:
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When your teen starts to show interest in the other sex your reaction needs to be a perfectly balanced. You don’t want to come off as if you discourage or encourage sex, but rather have the realistic view that sex is a part of life, but it has a time and place. Address the issue head on, be frank and let it be known you know teens have sex and how you feel about that. Your openness with your teen displays respect and removes the incentive to rebel, because you’re not commanding your teen not to have sex, or even attempting to prevent it in their eyes, just educating them and preparing them for when the time comes.
Don’t punish.
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Finally, when it does happen don’t punish. You won’t do anything but encourage the act and gain yourself a huge headache by pushing your child away. Allow your teen to be open with you so that you are more aware of your teen’s sexual life to help guide it away from a dangerous path. It can be hard to accept that our children are growing up, but you can’t stop time.
Hopefully not relevant for you, but just in case:
I Think My Daughter is Pregnant! What to Do
You may also find helpful:
The Sex Talk Timeline: When Should You Talk to Your Kids About Sex?
Signs of Puberty in Girls