Becoming a stay-at-home mom is easy– it’s remaining one that’s hard. There are women out there, including myself, that just aren’t built to be housewives. They’re driven for one reason or another. They’re the type of people that don’t do anything without doing it well, that have to be productive, that have to achieve, that have an ambition that just won’t be satisfied. For these women, what they do is never enough, and the transition from working woman to stay-at-home mother is often the hardest.
A misconception in perception:
I found the cornerstone below my inability to make my ambition in life and my actual life as a stay-at-home mother coexist together wasn’t a real issue, it was my perception of the issue. I didn’t view staying home raising my children as being a contributing member of society. I felt as if I was a waste of human flesh, simply adding to the massive overpopulation our little planet is already suffering from. The instinctual desire to procreate which I had followed was juxtapose to my personal beliefs on humanity and productivity. It took a long time for me to realize an apathetic hatred for my own kind would not solve anything. By staying home to raise my children right, so that they would be respectful, intelligent human beings, I was contributing to society in the best possible way. The future of our world really is in the hands of our youth– if they can save it. I wasn’t just sitting at home not working. I was working towards a better humanity tomorrow. Often reconsidering the reality of your situation and changing your perspective can improve your life.
Breaking old habits:
Even after I came to view raising my kids as a job– and a good one, I still found myself often feeling unfulfilled. I always liked to work and to work hard. I need to do so to be happy. As a result, despite already being stressed and having too much on my plate, I fell into the habit of taking on more. Even in my own eyes nothing I did, or was doing, was ever enough. It can be helpful to create a mental list, or real list if that’s your bag of toys, of what you do each day. You may find you’re failing, because you’ve simply taken on far more than any single person can handle in a day. Single out the things that really matter to you, and are important, and focus on those. Actually listing what you do can also help you realize what you have done, so you don’t feel as if you’ve done nothing.
Monotony and repetition blues:
There came a point when I knew I was working hard. I knew I was contributing, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. Ambitious people often also have a need to succeed, to see the fruits of their labor.
The life of a house wife and stay-at-home mother is a record that never stops spinning. Even if today I finish the laundry, feed the kids, wash the dishes, mop the floor, and so on, tomorrow I’ll have to do it again. It’s an RPG that never ends, you never win. It was this monotony and repetition that became my biggest enemy as a stay at home mom. It left me teetering on the edge of a deep depression. I kept looking down on my efforts, and asking myself, “Why am I doing this? It’s pointless.” I had to start looking up, to realize that achievement doesn’t require an ending. The functionality of life depends on monotonous tasks. If you don’t eat, you starve, but just because you have to do it doesn’t mean a meal can’t be delicious. Once I sought out a balance between responsibility and enjoyment, and then mixed the remainder. I found I could dance to the record.
Any change in life can create a difficult transition, the trick is finding out how traits like ambition can fit into your new position.