I Think My Daughter is Pregnant! What to Do When You Suspect a Teen Pregnancy

As parents, the last thing most of us want to consider is that our child has made a bad decision. While teen pregnancy rates were at a record low of 34.3 per 1,000 women in 2010, a 2013 survey of High School students found that nearly half of all teens are sexually active. Roughly 40 percent don’t use any form of birth control, including condoms. This leaves a fairly significant chance that your teen is sexually active and may not be using protection. This knowledge makes it unsurprising that many parents eventually find themselves suspecting their teen may be pregnant for a variety of reasons. This article explores alternative explanations for “signs” of teen pregnancy you may see as well as what to do when you suspect your teen is pregnant.I think my daughter is pregnant

“My teen is dressing differently.”
One sign some parents interpret as an indicator of pregnancy is a sudden switch to baggy clothing. While an attempt to hide a growing baby bump is one explanation, your teen could also be experiencing other body changes they are self-conscious about such as weight gain or breast growth. Finally, try to get a look at other teens of the same “group” so to speak as yours. It’s possible you’re seeing a simple change in clothing trends.

“My teen is sick all the time.”
Another common teen pregnancy scare igniter is frequent vomiting or nausea and other early pregnancy symptoms. Keep in mind that all of the early symptoms of pregnancy are caused by hormonal imbalance. Hormonal fluctuations can occur without cause at anytime in life whether your teen has hit puberty or not. Many pregnancy symptoms also mimic that of the common flu.

“I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom.”
Finally, probably the scariest sign your teen could be pregnant, a test in the bathroom used or not. Naturally, this could just indicate your teen is sexually active. If there have been other teens in the house, it’s also possible the test is belonged to someone else who was afraid to test at home.

What should you do if you think your teen may be pregnant?
Generally, nothing is actually the best course of action. Simply provide your teen with the knowledge that she can talk to you about anything and be there for her. If you approach her with accusatory behavior you run the risk of being wrong and pushing her away from you. In the case you find a pregnancy test, you may want to broach the topic of contraceptives or even make condoms easily obtainable in a discrete way. If your daughter is indeed pregnant, you’ll find out eventually, teen abortion is illegal without a parent’s permission in the majority of states and you can’t hide a pregnancy forever. The question is do you want to have that information come peacefully or have it possibly ruin your relationship with your child?

You may also want to check out:
Preventing Teen Sex: A Parent’s Plan

Sex Ed for Teens: A Parent’s Plan for Preventing Teen Sex

Between age 13 and 19 the percentage of teens that have engaged in sexual intercourse jumps from 13 to 70 percent. 80 percent have engaged in oral sex at the least. Being that most parents are hoping sex doesn’t happen for their little boy or girl until they are– oh, say 30, this presents a real problem. There are a lot of techniques parents have used over the ages to attempt to prevent teen sex and –well– obviously most of them have failed miserably. As a parent, you could try keeping tight tabs or fear tactics, but there is a better way.

Taking the taboo out of sex:sex ed for teens teen sex
 
The thing is teens want to do whatever they aren’t supposed to do, which is usually things they haven’t already done making them all the more appealing. Once they’ve done it, and gotten a top-notch reaction or even gotten away with it, it’s frankly, irresistible. The first step in stopping teen sex is taking away the taboo. How do you do that?

Sexual education:
 
First, you want to declassify and de-glorify sex. Many teens have this Hollywood created vision of what intercourse is like. When you shove the possible realities in their face, the whole process becomes a touch less cool. Not to mention if your teen is well versed in STDS, pregnancy, rape, and other sexual dangers, when they do have sex– and they will– they won’t be naive and ignorant about it.

Plan your reaction:
 
When your teen starts to show interest in the other sex your reaction needs to be a perfectly balanced. You don’t want to come off as if you discourage or encourage sex, but rather have the realistic view that sex is a part of life, but it has a time and place. Address the issue head on, be frank and let it be known you know teens have sex and how you feel about that. Your openness with your teen displays respect and removes the incentive to rebel, because you’re not commanding your teen not to have sex, or even attempting to prevent it in their eyes, just educating them and preparing them for when the time comes.

Don’t punish.
 
Finally, when it does happen don’t punish. You won’t do anything but encourage the act and gain yourself a huge headache by pushing your child away. Allow your teen to be open with you so that you are more aware of your teen’s sexual life to help guide it away from a dangerous path. It can be hard to accept that our children are growing up, but you can’t stop time.

Hopefully not relevant for you, but just in case:
I Think My Daughter is Pregnant! What to Do

You may also find helpful:
The Sex Talk Timeline: When Should You Talk to Your Kids About Sex?
Signs of Puberty in Girls

What to Do when Your Teen Lies to You

what to do when your teen lies to you

Certainly, we all hope we’ve raised out kids with the moral worth to always tell the truth, but here in reality, lies happen. Teen lies happen even more often thanks to the teen years being such a rebellious and confusing time in life. The question is, how can you as a parent handle teen lies when they happen?


Acknowledge teen lies:

The first thing you should do when you realize your teen has been lying to you is to acknowledge the lie and let your teen know that you know. This opens the door for communication on their end. You’re giving them that get out of jail card to come clean. It’s important not to go into this conversation with threats of punishment, rather concern. If you open the conversation with something like, “I know what you did and now your going to pay for it.” You aren’t really saying, “Hey, talk to me, be open with me, and help me understand why you did this.”

Communicate:

Communication is especially important at this point. Find out why your teen felt they needed to lie to you in the first place, and try to help them move beyond the mistrust and secrecy.  Avoid demanding your teen tell you anything. If you try to force a teen, or anyone else for that matter, to open up to you they likely won’t. Simply be there, be open, and be understanding. Understand that this whole process may take time.

Address Teen lies:

Once and if your teen has come clean, so to speak, it’s important to address the lie and why lying is never the best course of action, but not necessarily punish it the first time. Let your teen know the same way you would an adult why the lie hurt or angered you. Being open with your teen and treating them as the mature adult they are becoming will help ease tension and restore trust.

However, even adults have consequences for their actions and you are a parent, not just a friend. If lying continues after these three steps have been taken, try not to become angry and “lock your teen up” for their actions, but continue to express your feelings towards the lying and give reasoning behind them while adding in some form of punishment. Note that the consequences would have been less severe, or even non-existent, had there not been a lie involved reminding that you excused the first offense. The old “because I said so” explanation never does anyone any good. Be specific.

Take comfort that like most things in a teens life lying is often a stage. Some day you will have standing before you an amazing man or woman and all these small trying times will be distant memories to look back on and laugh.