Being a mom of four kids under 6 who haven’t died yet with a 4.0 college GPA under a fulltime credit load with an I-like-to-think successful writing career, a lot of people seem to think I’m some sort of super mom. I get a lot of compliments on my amazing ability to do it all—and it’s all bullshit, lies, trickery, and the like. I feel a bit shameful every time someone tells me how fabulous I am, because I know what they don’t. I know, for instance, that 98% in business law equated to 15 loads of unfolded laundry on a couch that hasn’t seen an ass in 6 months it’s been covered so long.
There is no such thing as a super mom who does it all. It’s a myth. Every mom—or dad for that matter—simply has their strong points and priorities, and they play to those. The truth is the more knives you juggle in life, the more are flying about your head to drop and cut off your proverbial dick. Some of us like to gamble on how many we can get up there, and some of us are better with certain types of knives than others, but we’ve all still only got two hands for the balancing act. Chances are that mom you think is so super has her scars from practice and is hiding away her slips. She’s likely looking back at you wondering how you keep up with your laundry, or get those kids to so many afterschool activities, or bake your own bread every day, or the list goes on.
This is not to say that what parents do is not amazing, tiring, and worth giving someone a verbal pat on the back—or giving them a cup cake or something— seriously, I take cupcakes, but that every parent is super. Logically, if all parents are super, there can be no super moms, because super is simply part of the definition of parent.
From now on in my life I’d like to step away from my shame– not that I haven’t stepped away from the housework enough. I’d like to take a compliment just for what it is without feeling guilty knowing that, “you’re amazing” is a silent admission of someone else who thinks they aren’t doing enough. Thinks I can do more than them or are somehow better than them, because honestly, I was thinking the same thing, and we all need to stop it. Stop comparing our lives, our parenting, our possessions, our obsessions, our everything with everyone else. I’d like to challenge you to do the same, because as corny as it sounds, I think you’re super.