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The Sex Talk Timeline: When Should You Talk to Your Kids About Sex?

Times have changed. Imagining a short 50 years ago it was almost impossible to show a female belly button on TV is nearly impossible when you look at the sex-driven content today’s youth are exposed to on TV, in movies, in ads, on the internet, and literally everywhere else. Sex is indeed a primary motivator of our species, and once the market realized “sex sells” they pushed it at the people until we all became so numb to it that we don’t even notice anymore. How many of you would give second thought to a mild cut-away sex scene on TV or a half-naked billboard? Chances are very few of you would. However, there is someone who notices– your kids. Unfortunately, this change in times forces parents to reevaluate when the right time to start educating their kids about sex. If you start too late, well, it could be too late.

So when is the right time for the sex talk?

Teaching your kids about sex really doesn’t come to one single “sex talk” like people seem to think. There shouldn’t be some coming of age point where you sit down and have one very long and awkward conversation with your child about sex. Rather, it should be a slow and gradual education over time that properly corresponds with your child’s mentality.

Toddlers:

At the toddler age you should start teaching your children about their bodies, their whole bodies. Even at such a young age children need to know what a penis and a vagina are and that they are private. You’ll find your kids naturally show curiosity in their nether regions and this can queue you into some anatomy lessons.

Pre-schoolers/Kindergarten:

Chances are you’ll have some boyfriend/girlfriend run-ins at this age, but they’ll be innocent; hand holding, hugging, maybe kissing. Be sure to talk to your child often, ask them about school and their friends so that when such things begin to develop you’ll know and can jump in with guidance. Talk about things like relationships, love, and kissing. Remember to keep your conversations appropriate for your child’s developmental level. It’s likely you’ll also have to deal with questions like, “Where do babies come from?” at this age. Answer any questions your child has truthfully. Avoid dodging the issue with silly stories. You don’t necessarily have to go into in-depth detail, but tell the truth.

Grade School:

Sometime during grade school or middle school your child will hit puberty. You can choose to address that when it happens, but it’s generally less shocking and confusing for your kid if they have some pre-warning and know what to do when it happens.

Middle School/High School:

This is when sex education in regards to things like protective, STDS, pregnancy, dating, etc. need to be talked about. Talking to you pre-teen or teen about sex won’t make them more likely to have sex, but it will prepare them if they end up doing so. As a parent, you can’t follow your children everywhere. They will be presented with sexual situations. How they handle those situation depends on your previous guidance. When exactly you should start talking about such things is really up to you. Pay attention to your teens actions, continue to ask about friends, school and social activities in a non-threatening way, and answer any questions that arise without judgment. It’s important your child feels comfortable talking to you about sex, if they feel they could get in trouble for something they say, they may not say anything at all.

Sex is undeniably a part of human life. Teaching your kids about this aspect of living may be a bit uncomfortable for some, but going the distance and sticking with it makes you a better parent in the end.

When did you have the sex talk with your kids?

You may also find helpful:
Toddler Sexuality: Gender Realization, Fascination and Playing Doctor
Preventing Teen Sex: a Parent’s Plan

Signs of Puberty in Girls: How to Tell When Your Daughter is Becoming a Woman

Who knows why we do it, but parents often put off the hard talks with their kids as long as possible. Puberty is definitely one of those talks. When it comes to girls in particular though, puberty can be a messy and embarrassing experience if you hit it unprepared. Well, sort of, actually a girl hits puberty before actually getting her menstrual period, which is the part that can be messy and embarrassing. Lucky for you, puberty also gives you some great signs of puberty in girls that your daughter may begin getting a monthly gift soon so you can start leaving sanitary items in the bathroom for her, and have a talk at some point about body changes, sex, and anything else she’s curious about.

What are some signs of puberty in girls?

-New hair growth: The hormones associated with puberty can cause hair growth everywhere, not just the private region that no one but your child will notice. You may notice more armpit or leg hair if your daughter is hitting puberty.

-Breast development and weight gain: While many girls begin to develop breasts well before they actually begin menstruating, it is a sign that the hormones associated with puberty are present and taking effect. Breast changes in particular can cause some dramatic body image issues in young girls, so you may want to address this before puberty. On top of breast changes, which are just fat after all, your daughter may also begin to gain weight or change shape in the hip region during puberty.

-A major growth spurt. Your daughter won’t just gain weight at puberty; she’ll also likely experience a boost in height. Typically girls hit puberty around age 10 to 12, so if you notice a major jump in height around that age your daughter may be hitting puberty.

-Dramatic mood swings. That mood swings come with hormonal imbalance is not a little known fact. PMS is famous for mood changes for this very reason. Being that puberty is an extended state of hormonal havoc, your daughter will experience some drastic mood swings as puberty onsets.

The above should help you take a rather educated guess at when a puberty talk is needed, or you can opt to just provide your daughter access to what she needs in case of an emergency period moment and wait until she asks questions of you. It’s really up to your comfort level and relationship with your child; puberty doesn’t care how you handle it. It’s not taking a rain check either way.

Why Does My Child Get Hyper After Eating?

The expectation that children bounce off the walls after eating sugar is not an uncommon. However, it’s actually based on a myth. Sugar alone does not cause hyperactivity. Nonetheless, after every meal, my toddlers wind up and shoot off into an at least half-hour hyper-fest, whether that meal includes sugar or not, making the first question that needs addressed: Why would eating cause my child to become hyper? The answer to said question should offer insight into how to reduce hyperactivity in children after eating.

Why do kids get hyper after eating?

Sugar itself may not make kids hyper, but blood sugar changes can affect energy levels. For example, if your toddler eats simple carbohydrates, which are found in foods such as fruit, white rice, and yes, candy, he or she will get a fast blood sugar boost which will in turn increase energy levels temporarily before allowing them to crash. Any food that contains carbohydrates can have this effect, though complex carbohydrates, such as those found in vegetables and whole grains, generally have a less hyper-inducing effect. Nearly all the meals you’re serving likely contain carbs. This may make it seem as if the eating is causing your child to become hyper, but really it’s the carbohydrates energizing your child’s body.

In addition, additives like food preservatives and food dyes may also cause hyperactivity in children. Several well-regarded studies have found this to be true, though it should be noted other studies have shown it to be false.

OK, then what can you do to reduce hyperactivity after meals?

Unfortunately, there isn’t that much you can do beyond offering well-balanced meals in regards to carbs. To balance carbs, you need to have ample protein in your meals. For instance, feeding your toddler toast with jam for breakfast should result in a fairly hyper reaction, while the same meal with some bacon or sausage added should result in a less-extreme energy spike.

You may also try reducing food additives and dyes in your child’s diet. Such things are found in unexpected places. Most boxed mac ‘n cheese, for example, contains both.

If you notice extreme highs followed by equally extreme lows, as well as other signs of blood-sugar imbalance, such as irritability, sluggishness, or depression in the morning or after long periods without food, your child may actually have a blood sugar issue. You should seek out a pediatrician for advice.

Does your child get hyper after eating?