Preschool

Separation Anxiety in Children: Dealing with the First Day of School

seperation anxiety in children
Torsten on his first day or pre-school

One of our toddlers has always had poor social skills and some severe separation anxiety. We knew that while separation anxiety in children is common, the combination could be crippling once he hit kindergarten, so finding a good preschool for him was important to us. It took some time, but finally that first day of school arrived. I’d gotten a fair amount of advice from other parents about just how to handle the drop-off point. Most told me to stand strong, just leave him, and let him work it out. I started to try that, but he screamed like he was being murdered and dropped to the floor. I couldn’t just leave his teachers with that, even though they told me it was OK. I stayed, and in the end, I was glad I did.

Seeing the alternative
Being there for a few hours that first day until my new preschooler was so enthralled in school he didn’t mind me leaving, I got to witness how other parent’s “just-leave-him” advice played out. There were other kids that were just as upset as mine was initially whose parents did just go. The teachers attempted to comfort them, but naturally, having 20 other preschools to deal with, they eventually left the children to cry it out. There was one little girl who was actually still sobbing in the corner when I left nearly three hours later who did not look like she was going to give it up.  I certainly had no intent of staying every day, all day, all year, because that would undo the purpose of preschool, but I feel a few hours of my time was more than worth making his first day a happy one.

Easing the transition
Unfortunately, I did find my new preschooler wanted me to stay every day. So, I tried to leave a little earlier each day. It did help to explain to him why I was leaving earlier and to give him an object of mine, such as my necklace, that he could hold when he was missing me, but he still just wanted me to stay.  I couldn’t just keep staying forever. In the end, I was unable to avoid a fit if I left right after dropping him off.

Using the bus
The answer to my conundrum finally came in a bus. Despite the bus stop being a mere five minutes before the school in my child’s case, we decided to give having him riding the bus a shot anyway. This did not put me at the school where he could want me to stay at all. It also put him in control. He was willingly getting on the bus rather than me saying, “You’re here, bye honey.” No more tears.

Some may view this method of sending a toddler off to preschool as “babying,” but by staying some of the time the first week my toddler was more comfortable with his teachers and the school setting. Then by giving him an item of mine he gained a sense of security, and finally, by letting him choose to ride the bus he conquered his separation anxiety. Our way might not work for every parent or every child, but it’s certainly a less tear-filled option to consider.

Why Does My Child Get Hyper After Eating?

The expectation that children bounce off the walls after eating sugar is not an uncommon. However, it’s actually based on a myth. Sugar alone does not cause hyperactivity. Nonetheless, after every meal, my toddlers wind up and shoot off into an at least half-hour hyper-fest, whether that meal includes sugar or not, making the first question that needs addressed: Why would eating cause my child to become hyper? The answer to said question should offer insight into how to reduce hyperactivity in children after eating.hyper after eating

Why do kids get hyper after eating?

Sugar itself may not make kids hyper, but blood sugar changes can affect energy levels. For example, if your toddler eats simple carbohydrates, which are found in foods such as fruit, white rice, and yes, candy, he or she will get a fast blood sugar boost which will in turn increase energy levels temporarily before allowing them to crash. Any food that contains carbohydrates can have this effect, though complex carbohydrates, such as those found in vegetables and whole grains, generally have a less hyper-inducing effect. Nearly all the meals you’re serving likely contain carbs. This may make it seem as if the eating is causing your child to become hyper, but really it’s the carbohydrates energizing your child’s body.

In addition, additives like food preservatives and food dyes may also cause hyperactivity in children. Several well-regarded studies have found this to be true, though it should be noted other studies have shown it to be false.

OK, then what can you do to reduce hyperactivity after meals?

Unfortunately, there isn’t that much you can do beyond offering well-balanced meals in regards to carbs. To balance carbs, you need to have ample protein in your meals. For instance, feeding your toddler toast with jam for breakfast should result in a fairly hyper reaction, while the same meal with some bacon or sausage added should result in a less-extreme energy spike.

You may also try reducing food additives and dyes in your child’s diet. Such things are found in unexpected places. Most boxed mac ‘n cheese, for example, contains both.

If you notice extreme highs followed by equally extreme lows, as well as other signs of blood-sugar imbalance, such as irritability, sluggishness, or depression in the morning or after long periods without food, your child may actually have a blood sugar issue. You should seek out a pediatrician for advice.

Does your child get hyper after eating?

Caring for a Toddler with Mouth Sores: A List of Foods and More

Hand, foot and mouth disease was something I had never even heard of. When my toddler suddenly had small pimple-like sores on his butt, I assumed it was just some sort of yeast-based diaper rash or another bane of his eczema. Later, when he complained his tongue hurt, and I found a mouth sore, I assumed he had a canker sore. On both counts I was wrong. My toddler had hand, foot, and mouth disease. Despite being called a “disease,” hand, foot and mouth is actually just a common childhood virus.toddler with mouth sores food list

While symptoms may vary, I learned when my second toddler began showing signs of this highly-contagious virus you’ll likely see red spots or fluid filled blisters on the hands, feet, and mouth — hence the name. A toddler with mouth sores from the virus will experience raw, painful marks much like canker sores.

Toddlers and infants also often get sores on their butts in the diaper region. Fever, irritability, loss of appetite, and fatigue are other common symptoms. Hand, foot and mouth is contagious only when sores are present and active, meaning they haven’t burst or begun to heal. Much like chicken pox, hand, foot, and mouth is generally a one-time type virus. As there are a few different strains, you can get it more than once, but never from the same strain.

Sadly, because hand, foot, and mouth is caused by a virus, it can’t be treated with medication directly. All you can do is treat the symptoms. The virus generally resolves itself in seven to ten days. However, even seven to ten days can be a long time with a whiny toddler with mouth sores who is in pain and may or may not be able to eat or drink comfortably. Fever and discomfort can benefit from a bit of Tylenol or ibuprofen, but the biggest issue I had was trying to find things my toddler could eat. This is what I learned…

Things to avoid for a toddler with mouth sores:

-Bottles: The sucking motion can be quite painful. On the upside, I used this opportunity to wean my toddler off the bottle at bedtime. Soft-nippled sippy cups seem to be OK.

-Spicy or acidic foods: If you’ve ever had a canker sore you can relate; acidic food in particular, such as citrus, is not recommended.

-Chewy or crunchy foods: Chewy foods tend to stick to the teeth, mingle with saliva and aggravate every sore in your toddler’s mouth. My toddler was particularly annoyed that eating candy hurt. Crunchy foods can scrape against sores causing bleeding or at the least, more pain.

Foods that are good for a toddler with mouth sores:

You want to aim for soft, easy-to-swallow foods that are neutral or base in nature. Dairy-based foods, for instance, are almost always neutral or base. Cold foods can also be very soothing. Here are some ideas to give you an idea of what works:

-Ice cream or Popsicles
-Yogurt or cottage cheese
-Jello or pudding
-Apple sauce
-Mashed potatoes
-Oatmeal
-Clam chowder
-Chicken or beef vegetable soup (do not use a tomato base)
-Seafood or chicken Alfredo, or any white-sauced pasta for that matter
-Macaroni and cheese

In the event your child’s mouth hurts so badly they simply won’t eat, push water. Dehydration is one of the biggest risks of hand, foot, and mouth and other conditions that cause mouth sores. I found my toddler handled milk well during the short period he wouldn’t eat. You can opt for Pediasure dietary supplements if your child will drink milk. They have a touch more sugar, so you may have to dilute them with regular milk, but they can help fill dietary holes from not being able to eat. Ovaltine or other milk-mix-ins may be another option to add some calories. Rest assured that your child won’t die or become skin and bones from a dramatically decreased diet a few days. As long as he or she is getting liquids and peeing regularly, everything should be fine.

Feel free to add your suggestions for a toddler with mouth sores in comment.

You also might want to give this little known complication of hand, foot, and mouth a read, I was pretty freaked out when my kid’s finger and toenails started falling off.