My 6 Year Old Has Herpes and So Do 80% of You

I live in a small town, and I suppose the old adage small towns breed small minds has a little grain of truth, because in my town, it’s appropriate for adults to spread rumors about 6 year olds. My 6 year old has eczema. Eczema is a medical condition where the skin is in simplest terms thin. This causes crazy sensitivity and an almost constant immune response to everything in the form of a skin rash. It isn’t a result of bad parenting or poor hygiene or anything else within anyone’s control. He was born with it. He sees a dermatologist. He suffers with the discomfort of it every day.6 year old

Now, people with eczema are also prone to all sorts of other skin issues, because well, they have thin skin. It’s vulnerable, and their immune systems are always taxed. One such issue can be cold sores. Cold sores are very, very common. I mean 80% of the population common, 8 out of 10 of the people reading this carry the cold sore virus. The cold sore virus, as some people are aware, is actually a form of herpes, not the less-innocent genital herpes, herpes simplex which is synonymous with cold sores. The thing about herpes simplex, is the active form (if you’ve ever had a cold sore you have it forever, it’s just inactive if you are sore-free) is triggered primarily by two things, immune system stress and tissue damage, both of which are nearly always present in kids with eczema. So it’s no surprise my poor 6 year old not only has an itchy rash at his joints, but often cold sores. He doesn’t just get one tiny bump on his lip, he gets patches all over the place.

Apparently, some grown ass adults felt that this was a good reason to start spreading around town that he had herpes, and people shouldn’t let their kids play with him. Let’s ignore that 8 of the 10 said assholes likely have the same “herpes” he does, and just focus on the fact that these are adults bullying a 6 year old for something entirely beyond his control.

At first, I was furious. I wanted to go throat-punch some trash-talking idiots, but you know that wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t change that looking different will always lead small minded people to ostracize others. It wouldn’t make it any easier for a 6 year old to understand he has to stay home when he has an active cold sore outbreak, because they are contagious, not because people will judge him. It won’t make his skin issues go away or the pain that accompanies them. There isn’t a cure for eczema or cold sores, so maybe, just offering some education will help. Telling people what eczema is and why kids with eczema have so many skin issues—even herpes simplex—will. Maybe like every other instance of outright bullying responding with information rather than anger will, because how can we ask our children to accept people for who they are from appearance to sexual preference, when we can’t even have some empathy for others ourselves? After all, some people are just born stupid.

In the meantime, if you have a child struggling with eczema and/or herpes simplex, we recently started our son on daily lysine, an amino acid which aids in collagen production and reportedly reduces replication of the cold sore virus to reduce outbreaks. He has not had an outbreak since we started a month ago and his eczema has greatly improved. As a moderate-dose dietary supplement with risk only to those with compromised kidney function, I highly recommend giving it a try. We use the powder just mixed into water or milk.

Gender Bias in Stores: Where Are the Boy’s Clothes?

Being a mom of three boys, one shopping bane has annoyed the shit out of me for the last 6 years—gender bias in stores. Want some clothes for your kid? Better hope he doesn’t mind wearing neon pink or pastel flowers, because in virtually every department store you’ll find an overwhelmingly higher number of girl clothing options vs boy. It’s not just pants and shirts either. This year I needed a pair of mittens for my youngest, and mind you I live in Alaska, where you’d think mittens would be plentiful. I found eight full wracks of girl gloves with every style and size under the sun in three locations in my local Fred Meyer. I found one half wrack of boy gloves mostly consisting of gloves for older kids with not a mitten in sight. My two year old ended up with baby mittens (those don’t have thumbs) until I could order something online for him. What do these stores think little boys don’t get cold hands? I seriously wanted to know why, so I tried to find out.gender bias in stores

In a population which overall is about 50/50 girls to boys why do stores so biasedly load the shelves with clothes for little girls?

Well, first let’s handle the folks that are going to get offended by the phrase “clothes for little girls.” I’m all for gender equality. If my boys ask for something pink or purple—or even with pastel flowers—I’m open to that, but 99.9% of the time, they don’t. They want red or blue with Power Rangers or trucks or something, and they certainly don’t want a skirt. It’s their fashion preference, not mine. They wear what they like.

And while it wouldn’t really matter to me if my 2 year old wore purple gloves (the point is to keep his hands warm) and he likely wouldn’t care either being he’s 2, my kids get called girls enough because they are “pretty.” They are all blond, blue-eyed children with these gorgeous long eye lashes they just love to bat at you. At least in the case of my oldest child who can express his feelings more clearly, being called a girl is not cool. It bothers him, because he’s a boy. He knows he’s a boy, and he doesn’t like being classified as otherwise. It’s not that he finds girls offensive, it’s that he’s a not a girl. The same way if I tried to tell him an apple was an orange he’d argue with me doesn’t mean he thinks apples are better than oranges.

So, long ramble short, putting a boy already prone to being called a girl in purple gloves is a poor choice unless you have no alternative, and the stores should have an alternative, but they don’t. Back to the point, why don’t they?

Do parents buy more clothes for girls?

The first logical thought would be, well, the stores have a gender bias because we do. Parents buy more clothing for their girls than for their boys, however, that’s not true. In 2004 (forgive me the dated stats, info on this was hard to find), 34% of children’s apparel revenue was from girl’s clothing, 30% boys, and 36% from “infant and toddler” clothing. 4% is not a massive overall difference. If what sold was what was on the shelves, you’d see baby and toddler goods in general out the wazoo not girl clothes only.

In addition, these stats are based on revenue, a percentage of a sales, and the same report noted that “the average family spends $107.28 (annually) on children’s clothing — $123.79 for each girl, $90.77 for each boy.”  Girl clothing costs more, which likely accounts for that 4% difference in revenue. Then you could suggest the reason that stores stock more girl’s clothing is because of the price difference. They make more profit off girl clothing not because it sells more, but because they charge more for it. Now why that is, I have no idea. I could not find any information justifying why items for girls would cost more than those for boys. Nor is there any financially sound reason that more could be charged for girl’s clothes than boys based on demand if the stats don’t show more girls clothes are being purchased.

In the absence of logic you’re left with “because I said so.” You’re left with a gender bias, with an unsubstantiated belief that clothing for little girls is in higher demand or somehow worth more. You’re left with a little boy with no mittens, and I don’t know why. And, personally, that pisses me off.

Whether you have a girl or a boy, you may find ways to save on kids clothing worth reading.

How Much is Too Much Candy for Kids?

There are a few opinions in life that just might as well be considered fact. One such opinion is that kids love candy. You’d be hard pressed to find one example that disproved the suggestion, but since we can’t go surveying every kid on earth, it remains a simple opinion, an opinion my three often chocolate-faced children would support. With Halloween quickly approaching, those same three sweet-toothed kids have a great deal of satiating treats coming their way soon. The holiday season in general is ripe with sugary goodness, so now seems a better time than ever to review how much candy is too much for kids and ways to make candy healthier for kids.how much is too much candy for kids

How much is too much candy for kids?

A study done between 1999 and 2004 found a correlation between candy consumption and lowered obesity rates. No, that isn’t a typo; children that consumed candy were found to have a 22% lower incidence of obesity. Those same kids were also at a lower risk for cardiovascular disease. The study, however, did not allude to why or to how much candy consumption each child had. The World Health Association recommends kids get no more than 10% of their daily caloric intake from sugars. You can calculate your child’s need by taking their height in inches and multiply it by 40. For example, a 32-inch tall toddler needs 1,300 calories. Then take your result, and multiply by .1. This is 10%. So the same 32-inch tall toddler should not exceed 130 calories from sugar — at least not regularly. To give you an idea of how much that is, a regular sized snickers bar contains 120 calories from sugar. (1 gram sugar on the package equates to 4 calories.) The occasional, say Halloween, binge certainly isn’t going to kill your tot, but keep this recommendation in mind for everyday consumption.

How can you protect your child’s teeth from candy-induced damage?

Dentists recommend avoiding sour candies as they contain acid which can erode enamel. Any type of candy for kids that sticks in the teeth is also not recommended, such as taffy. You can help keep your child’s teeth healthy by offering water after consumption. Try to teach your child to “squish” the water before swallowing; you can make a game out of it. Allowing your child to eat candy just before bed is also frowned upon, as it decreases salvation during sleep hours, allowing sugars to sit in the mouth longer. The best time as far as your child’s teeth are concerned to eat candy is just after a meal or snack. The idea of giving your child a piece here and piece there has also been shown to be worse for teeth than handing them all the pieces you intend to give at once. Avoid spacing out treats in an effort to be healthier.

Is there such thing as a healthy candy for kids?

That would depend on what you consider healthy. Candies tend to naturally vary in sugar levels, protein, vitamin and mineral content, and fat, but there isn’t really a catch-all “healthy” candy. Even dried fruit often sticks in teeth and according to dentists, can be as bad for teeth as regular candy. In the end, you are best just sticking to allowing candy in moderation, no matter the kind.